I had many an opportunity to serve, to help beautiful children who can't help themselves..
Welcome to my world.
Every day I get the same opportunity; usually woken by one of our 7yr olds needing help of some sort. Maybe a nebuliser and assisted coughing. Usually to roll over or sit up in bed. Because they are too weak to do any of it themselves.
Then it's toileting time, as two out of the three are unable to toilet themselves unassisted.
This week I made the mistake of thinking too far into the future, and I wondered if they would still be needing help to go to the toilet as teenagers. Yes probably, definitely.
Then, after a quick coffee, Ben and I set too work getting everyone dressed. He helps Gideon, I help the girls. Now it's winter, they are susceptible to the cold and sickness, so there is 4 or 5 layers to put on. And each layer means helping arms that cannot push themselves through the sleeve unaided.
There are also 6 feet that need socks pulled up, AFOs (ankle foot orthosis) strapped on and shoes crammed on over the top. Two out of the three pairs are clean shoes that don't actually touch the ground.
I feel like I've accomplished something big as the girls emerge from the bedroom in clean, warm clothes and shoes.
But we're not out the door yet..
Thick beautiful hair needs my brushing, breakfast needs our making, cumbersome bags need our help to get packed, and not to mention the final jumble of big jackets, beanies & scarves that need placing.
I would get them to do it themselves If they had the strength to. Not a chance - especially with all those clothes on!
We were late to school everyday this week. (Getting myself ready is an after thought). And I went home to the dishes, again..
More often than not, in my weakness and selfishness, I grumbled. I *really* didnt do too well at all..
The lies filled my head in my worn out state: "I can't do this.." "Will my time ever come?" "I've got nothing left for this" And they cut and drain. It's a downward spiral that leads to anger and pain and isolation..
After another round of tears today, thankfully Mr Benjamin came through for me once again; "What if instead you say 'Thankyou for this opportunity to serve'.."
Because the truth is, as I've decided to say; "Yes, I'm really tired of this, but I've been entrusted with this and I can do it.
Thank you Jesus for this opportunity to serve You and and Yours.."
Anyway, Imagine how much good could be missed! So much potential..
P.S (Ben and Gideon made a 'hot air ballon' this evening! The kids called it The Dutchess. "Isn't she a beauty mum!" Gideon kept saying. It was the highlight of his day.) :)
P.P.S: thank you very much to the beautiful recent donors to the house fund, so blessed! :)
The house funds are at $13,770. The cost of building will probably be in the hundreds of thousands.